


Nursing His Soul

by rawpickles



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: M/M, Romantic Fluff, Sick Character, So Fluff and Angst, WAFF, fluff and nothing but, ok maybe a little angst, warm and fluffy ending, yamada reprimanding yuto for being a sap, yuto being a sap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-01 18:38:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2783651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rawpickles/pseuds/rawpickles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Yamada is absent from work that day, Nakajima goes to visit, but the sight that greets him is heartbreaking. And he decides that it's his job to nurse Yamada's broken soul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nursing His Soul

**Author's Note:**

> I've been very inconsistent with my words. It was supposed to be a drabble, but yet again, my mind works differently and I present to you this...thing!, with over 2,5K of words. Truthfully I've been very insecure about the characterisation in this fanfiction. Writing about real-life people is sooooo hard! Oh, well. I hope everyone will nonetheless enjoy this, as I pour my heart and soul on making this fluffiest fluffy fanfic ever. Ha! :D

Nakajima Yuto, for lack a better word, knows Yamada Ryosuke like the back of his hand. Growing up with the other, spending time arguing, talking, joking with the other—for better or worse—is something Nakajima really wouldn’t trade for anything. He’s sure Yamada knows him just as much, he frequently talks about his problems, be it personal or not, and Nakajima is thankful for his openness to himself.

It’s not uncommon to find them lost in their own world when they start to talk to each other, and almost everyone understands this. The recurrent stares they give each other—and not something for the sake of fan-service—raises even Yabu Kota’s suspicion, but he shrugs this off, not wanting to disturb the chemistry.

“It’s just natural for us, I guess,” Yamada says one day after an insistent probing from Yaotome, his excessive amount of perspiration permeates through his clothes, looking like a drowned rat. “We’re childhood friends, it’s inevitable.”

But they’re more than that, and Yaotome is aware. He pats Yamada in the back, an arch grin adorns his face as if he knows what goes behind the scene—and disappears through the door, saying something about taking a leak. 

 

. . .

One day Okamoto finds them holding hands under the table, he keeps quiet.

 

. . .

 

“What do you want to be if we weren’t popular?” Nakajima asks him on their off day, walking side by side enjoying their casual walk in the park. It’s not unusual to find them relishing each other’s presence outside the jimusho, it’s a kind of habit that dies hard. 

Yamada hums and adjusts his cap. “I don’t know.” And Nakajima laughs.

“What the hell is ‘I don’t know’ supposed to mean?” He snickers, and swears that he just saw Yamada’s lips curl down to form an endearing pout.

“I don’t know means I haven’t thought about it, I just want to be with you.” Yamada unabashedly mutters, albeit loud enough for the taller man’s ears to hear. It certainly shuts Nakajima up as his facial expression becomes flustered. 

His head drops lower, the flow of his blood running up to his cheeks, and, “I want to be with you too. Forever.” is what he says, more like a firm statement, his voice unwavering.

Yamada sideway glances at Nakajima, a smile already forming and he says. “That’s what I thought.” 

 

. . .

So when Yamada says he isn’t feeling well and may or may not come for practice that day—results in Nakajima to a great depth of unsettlement. His mind conjures an inordinate amount of paranoia, and at length he asks the manager whether he can finish earlier and take the first turn. Granting his request without much fuss, which comes off as huge shock to each and every one of them, their manager gives him a look that takes Nakajima back to that knowing smile Yaotome did to Yamada.

Nakajima finishes quickly—his interview and photoshoot sessions finished in no time—and bolts out the door a minute later, his shoulder bag jiggles as he literally scampers through the narrow hallway, while his car is already waiting outside patiently.

 

. . .

 

 

Yamada’s familiar house comes into view, and Nakajima feels a jolt of panic and it runs through his mind in the form of ‘what if’s’ that Nakajima may deem necessary to keep at the back of his mind.

He bows to Yamada’s mother, his clothed feet slipping out of his shoes, rather hastily perhaps, and Yamada’s mother throws him a look of, dare he say, pity—shaking her head and calls when Nakajima tries to reorganise his shoes to leave them be.

“Ryosuke’s upstairs.” Is all she says, and Nakajima bows again in gratitude before striding toward the stairs.

Locating Yamada’s room with ease, he turns the doorknob making his presence known. The sight that greets him makes his stomach churn, but he still has the conscience to close the door and smiles at the boy in front of him, who looks too pale yet so colourful with red adorns his cheeks like parasites. Nakajima walks toward the ill boy, his steps reverberate almost warily against the wooden floor, and he can see how bad the fever is affecting Yamada.

“Hey...” Nakajima greets, as the back of his hand traces the other’s cheekbone affectionately. Yamada stirs in his sleep, and finally opens his seemingly heavy eyelids, eyes dazed and looking disoriented. 

Nakajima’s hand stretch up to reach the cloth that now rests peacefully against Yamada’s forehead, and he then notices how labored Yamada’s breathing is. Nakajima feels a pang in his heart watching his usually energetic friend all laid supine on the mattress. 

Nakajima proceeds to squeeze the lukewarm water out of the cloth, before placing his palm on the other’s forehead, feeling Yamada subconsciously leans to it and afterwards, replacing his hand with the cloth again.

He plops down to sit at the side of the bed, his weariness worming its way to his body and he finds himself thoroughly exhausted. Today’s supposed to be quite a relaxing day, with minimal amount of photo shoot sessions, however him overthinking things really leads him to this state where he overworks his brain. And it's simply wearing him down like a huge burden clinging to his shoulder interminably.

Nakajima jumps when he finds a much too warm hand resting upon his, and he looks up to see Yamada smiling.

“Thanks for coming,” is what he says, and Nakajima retaliates with a smile of his own.

“You have no idea how much trouble I went today to see you.” Nakajima laughs, while Yamada chuckles in fascination. 

“I bet the manager’s livid.” Yamada teases.

Nakajima hums, absentmindedly running his hand over his head. “You know what, the manager’s actually quite understanding today.”   
Yamada lets out a breathy laugh, and it sounds melodic in his ears. He decides that he wants to hear Yamada’s laugh more, the smiles and laughs that results the crease at the side of the mouth to make itself known is all too adorable.

“Are you going to be okay?” Nakajima asks, his worried tone apparent.

“Yeah.” Yamada says, and Nakajima visibly relaxes. “It’s just a fever.”

“Don’t say that,” Nakajima reprimands, then adds, “People can die from fever too.”

Yamada laughs at the seriousness of the expression that Nakajima harbors. “Okay, doctor.”

“Have you eaten?” 

“Yes. Can you bring me water?”

Nakajima locates a half-empty glass of water on the nightstand, and bringing it to Yamada’s lips, his other hand supporting Yamada’s back to let him rise to a reclined position. Yamada says nothing as he practically swills down the rest of the liquid. He then gently lets Yamada to lie down on the soft mattress once more and places the now empty glass to its original location.

“Better?” Nakajima asks.

“Much better.” Yamada responds, with his hand reaching down to intertwines his fingers with the other’s.

“You’re awfully clingy today, aren’t you?” Nakajima taunts him with a knowing smile, and all Yamada does is smirk at the question.

“You don’t like it?”

Nakajima looks at Yamada’s flushed state, deciding that a clingy Yamada is too cute for him to say no, but he doesn’t like the reason of Yamada’s clinginess. “I don’t like you to be sick,” He voices out.

“I would love to see you sick though.” Yamada mumbles, his voice sounding less hoarse than before, which Nakajima notes with solace.

“You’re sick,” Nakajima shows a slight grimace upon his face, which results in Yamada dissolves into laughter at the double meaning.

“No,” Yamada wheezes after another fit of laughter. “I mean if you’re sick, I can then take care of you.”

Nakajima pulls a face, and Yamada is reduced to giggles, pulling their intertwined hands to kiss the knuckles of Nakajima’s hand. Redness fills Nakajima’s face, and he’s more or less certain that their faces are similar in hue. Nakajima can’t help a smile embellishing his face that Yamada thinks adds to his handsomeness. 

 

“I adore you so much.” Nakajima says. 

Yamada decides that he likes that word, and he nods. “I adore you too, you sap.”

 

. . .

 

The next time Yamada does not come to the jimusho, Nakajima thinks that he’s indisposed like the last time. He can’t afford to miss out the practice however, so he practices until his legs can’t take any more, and at the end of the day goes straight to the familiar residence of Yamada. What greets him, however, is a view of Yamada sobbing into his hands in his room. And he thinks that the sickness may not be physical after all.

 

. . .

 

Yamada’s mother is admitted to the hospital for a tumor, and Yamada’s worried sick, can’t help himself but cry, as he doesn’t know anything else to do. His mother has been the support of his life and the thought of his mother’s health gradually deteriorating as she grows with age really does it for Yamada.

And he’s left to wonder how much longer his mother can support his family until Yamada becomes the replacement. The thought of his mother becomes ill and finally leaves the family sends him into an outbreak of weeping, not bothering to wipe his leaking tears.

Nakajima witnesses all this, and his heart simply can’t cope with Yamada as he sees his most important person breaks down—while he feels helpless and powerless as to how to soothe a broken heart.

So all Nakajima does is to be there, twenty-four seven of all the seven days in that week.

 

. . .

Yamada’s mother’s surgery falls on Friday, and it is Thursday night when Yamada wakes up in the night crying out for his mother. Nakajima who’s sleeping soundly beside him, awakes with a startle to the cry that emanates from the other. He raises himself into a sitting position, his hand reaches up to give a comforting touch upon Yamada’s shoulder.

Yamada instantaneously clutch to Nakajima, crying to his shoulder as his arms circle Nakajima’s neck. And Nakajima has never seen Yamada seen this broken.

“I—I don’t want to lose her,” Yamada sobs. “I—I can’t…s—support this family I—”

Nakajima tightens his arms around Yamada’s trembling frame, cutting off Yamada’s ramble. “She’s going to be fine. It’s a small tumor, you worry about her enough, just leave the rest to the doctors,” Nakajima’s voice is gentle, sounding zephyr-like, and it feels like warm breeze in the summer despite the cold intensity in the room.

“What if she’s not? What if the doctor found another tumor in her body? She’s never going to be the same a-and—”

“Ryosuke,” Nakajima calls, his tone reprimanding. “Let’s not worry about things that don’t exist currently. She’s going to be just fine. And the rest of the members will be around to see your mother released from the hospital.”

Yamada stiffens at the tone, but he lays his cheek upon Nakajima’s shoulder in an intimate manner, facing Nakajima’s soft neck. He lets out a breathy “Yuto…” to his neck that spreads a certain warmth upon the southern part of his body and kisses the side of Nakajima’s neck before leaning back, suddenly wanting to go back to sleep. They have a big day ahead of them tomorrow.

 

. . .

 

The following week, Yamada’s mother is released from the hospital, and Yamada feels like he owes someone a big sum of payment.

 

. . .

 

Yamada takes Nakajima to a fancy restaurant on their day off, feeling like they’ve been lacking some quality ‘friend’ time. He has made reservations and special requests, such as seats in a quiet corner, preferably private, champagne (despite him not enjoying drinking it that much), live music and everything sounds fancy even to Yamada, but then he is again reminded that he does this not for himself, but to Nakajima Yuto. And so he thinks that everything’s worth it.

So when Yamada sees Nakajima in his smart casual clothes, lacking the mask and glasses that they used to wear in order to avoid unavoidable paparazzis, he feels himself gaping at how…handsome, the other man can be. 

Nakajima is wearing a cozy grey knitted sweater that covers his white shirt underneath, and instead of tucking in the long shirt into his skinny black pants, he leaves it be, somehow increasing the whole handsomeness that this man radiates aesthetically. His bowler hat really seems to stand out too as he more or less, looks like ‘Nakajima Yuto of Hey! Say! JUMP’ instead of ‘Nakajima Yuto that doesn’t want to be bothered by nosy paparazzis’.

Yamada feels himself being looked over as well, and he reddens.

“Do I look okay?” He asks, worry lacing his tone.

“Handsomest of the most handsome ones.” Nakajima deadpans.

“You sap,” Yamada teases.

“You love it,” Nakajima chuckles, and they both make way to the chauffeur-driven car.

 

. . .

It turns out that it goes better than planned. As soon as the owner makes his way through the restaurant to greet them personally, they are being ushered to a private room with luxury adorning every inch of the place. And Nakajima is left gaping ever since they arrive at the place. Yamada is certainly having fun seeing a gawking Nakajima Yuto, who’s supposed to be accustomed to this kind of lifestyle. But it certainly is worth the money, Yamada muses. 

The live music plays Hey! Say! JUMP songs (more like a jazz version of them) and both Yamada and Nakajima chuckles in amusement. 

The food is simply mouthwatering, from the appetizer down right to the dessert, everything is perfect and how it should be on this important night. Nakajima hums in delight every time he brings that spoon to his mouth, relishing each tingle from his taste buds that results from the delicious dish.

Yamada’s elation radiates to Nakajima like sunrays in the morning, and it makes his heart skips a beat. But Nakajima suspects that there’s more to it than just a sumptuous repast.

“You like it?” Yamada asks, albeit bashfully.

“It’s amazing,” Nakajima’s gentle smile always takes his breath away.

Yamada smiles back and go back to his dessert, scooping up the last bit of manjari chocolate fondant into his mouth, before Nakajima asks him. 

“So what’s all—” Nakajima gives him a look, his hands frantically move to indirectly ask Yamada about their fancy dinner. “—this about?”

“This.” Yamada tosses him an object. 

Nakajima is flabbergasted at the small box that he’s currently holding in his hand. He glances at Yamada who nods, gesturing him to open the box. Nakajima warily unties the purple ribbon sitting on top of the box. He places the ribbon at the table before resuming on unwrapping the gift.

What sits inside is a necklace; something that he knows Yamada has been wearing for the past seven months, and a very significant object to the shorter man. He dares glancing up at the seemingly worried Yamada, and he gives a small smile in reassurance, holding out the necklace back to an open-mouthed Yamada.

“I can’t take this.” Nakajima says, his smile apologetic. “It’s important to you and I—”

“You’re right.” Yamada cuts him. “It is important.”

Yamada’s hand goes to wrap around the top of the gift, while Nakajima holds the bottom part, but instead of taking it, Yamada pushes it back to Nakajima’s side, smiling at him. “But you’re more than just…important, you’re—everything. And without you, I’m nothing.”

“Ryo—”

“I need you,” Nakajima can feel the desperation lacing his voice like a strained string wanting to be cut loose. “I need you to be with me, from now on, and forever. And this necklace may not be of significance, but it is to me, and hopefully, I am to you.”

“I—”

“I am seriously, madly, deeply, in love with you. You stupid horse-meat lover.” Yamada holds a slightly playful tone at the last bit of words, but Nakajima is aware of the worry lacing Yamada's voice still. 

Worried of rejection, rejection from the person he’s been in love with for such a long time.

Nakajima finds himself putting the small box on the table, he'll wear it later, determines to wear it forever from now on—then proceeding to take Yamada’s hand into his own, gently rubbing across the knuckles of Yamada Ryosuke’s. Nakajima chuckles. “I’ve been waiting for you to say that.”

Nakajima intertwines their fingers, taking note that they’re the only ones in the room. He continues. “I am madly, intensely, fervently—very, in love you too, if not more. And even if you didn’t say anything you just did, I’d most certainly stay with you, for as long as you’d have me.”

Yamada beams and Nakajima takes the opportunity to lean his body forward to take Yamada’s lips onto his own, savouring in the remnants of the dessert, but something more original, something more—Ryosuke.

And he decides that he’s addicted to the taste, and he catches Yamada’s lips with his own over and over again, meanwhile Yamada laughs in-between the kisses at his persistent lips.


End file.
